I know, I know, we’re no longer party animals… we’re playing pretend animals now, but seriously, fellow parents… I need help.
Can anyone suggest a great site for ordering 1st birthday party invitations?! I’m looking for something relatively inexpensive, but sweet and well-made.
Suggestions, please!
Ok, now back to your scheduled elephant impression…
I have a “Top 5 Favorite Lullaby List”. Our little one may not be able to voice her opinion just yet, but that’s too bad - I mean, uhh, hopefully, she’ll come to appreciate these songs as “our” top 5 someday and possibly use a song or two from the same list for her future children, always remembering that they were our special songs.
Anyway, here they are. And yes, they are in a particular order.
#1. The Rain Song - Led Zeppelin
Not only is Houses of the Holy one of my favorite Zeppelin albums overall, but The Rain Song has always been my all-time favorite Zeppelin song. As a kid, I would pop in my cassette (yes, I said cassette… remember those?!) and let the gorgeous sounds of Page, Plant, Bonham and JPJ lull me to sleep. I’ve since decided to pass along this special song to my baby girl in hopes that she, too, will find peace and beauty in the melodies and lyrics as I always have.
#2. Clair de Lune - Debussy
This is the song I chose to have playing over and over again while I was in labor with E. Something about this beautiful song reached deep inside of me and took me away to a place where I could imagine the end result of labor; holding my beautiful, peaceful, gentle baby - and really got me through some of the most incredible contractions with ease and gave me a really good understanding of just how strong my body was.
#3. Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Jewel’s version or Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s ukelele version
What’s not to love about either version of a genuine classic?! The original version, sung by Judy Garland in Wizard of Oz is a song I have belted out many-a-times (to myself, of course. I know better than to subject innocent bystanders to my horrific singing.) and both Jewel and Israel have managed to put their own twists on it, without ruining the original one bit.
#4. In My Life - The Beatles
So, I’ve been a Beatles fan since I could say “Ringo” (and he IS my favorite Beatle) and “In My Life” is a song that really connects with me as a mother more than it ever has in my life (haha, get it?!) before. This is because it puts into song what it means to have had a life before the biggest love walked in - a totally different life, where there was love, happiness and vibrancy before - but unlike anything that exists now… at THIS moment. My daughter is exactly that… the greatest love of my life, but that doesn’t mean I will ever forget the roads that have led me to this moment as her mother. If it weren’t for my past, I wouldn’t be the mother I am today. It’s ok… go grab a tissue. I won’t judge!
#5. My Little Girl - Jack Johnson
Really, anything by Jack Johnson rocks to settle down and mellow out to, but this song in particular came out right before E was born and when I first heard it after she arrived, I cried… hard. The lyrics are wonderful and the tune is perfect for a nice wind-down. My favorite lyrics from the song are as follows: “You don’t ever have to feel lonely/You will never lose any tears/You don’t have to feel any sadness/When you look back on the years/How can I look you in the eyes/And tell you such big lies/The best I can do is try to show you/How to love with no fear”.
So, what are YOUR favorite lullabies? We’re always looking to expand our list!
I confess!
I am a formula hoarder. Confused? You should be. I breastfeed my child. “So,” you ask, “why are you hoarding formula?”
And THAT is quite a good question. I honestly do not have a good reason. In fact, my reason is completely irrational and I am almost afraid of typing it out for fear of severe judgement (be easy on me… please?!).
I hoard formula just in case of extreme emergency. I’m talking nuclear, catastrophic, lost-in-the-woods-with-no-gas-left-in-the-car emergencies. I keep cans and bottles of formula in E’s room, in the car, in the diaper bag, at my parents’ house, etc.
I’m afraid of something crazy happening or my body possibly malfunctioning to the point where one day, I’ll wake up and the “factory” will be closed. I don’t know?! And this is what my fear is; that I just. don’t. know. Thus, the formula hoarding.
I still have formula from the hospital in those little, eensy-weensy bottles that hold only two ounces of formula. How ridiculous is that!?! But I’m pretty sure I have three or four of them in my diaper bag and possibly ten or so in E’s dresser drawers.
So, there. Some people hoard cats. I hoard formula. If someone decides to call one of those shows on me, at least there’s a bright side: free home makeover and free therapy!
Oh shit. Did I really just say that? I think I just passed “crazyville” and am headed straight for the looney bin… wait, is there free food there?
I don’t normally like to post anything that is not related to my topic, but has anyone else on tumblr received messages from a random blog, blocked them because their question made no sense or their blog appeared weird and come to find out that a few days later, that blog no longer exists, only then to receive another weird message from a different weird blog?
As you can tell by the repetitive usage, I think this is weird.
I have a bad mouth. It’s actually not something I am proud of, but it’s the truth. I cuss like a drunken sailor and I can be crude. I understand this is not very “lady like”, but I am going to go ahead and do the expected - I’m going to blame my parents.
I grew up in a household where cursing was not taboo, it was not frowned upon and was mostly used as a sign of affection. When we weren’t cursing, it was a bad sign. It meant we were uncomfortable, nervous, or feeling uptight. The more f-bombs you heard in a sentence, the better you could feel about being around us.
I’m a mother now (and a professional) and I’m finding that I have a major issue with my toilet mouth. E is getting to the age (8 months) where she is starting to watch my lips and mimic some sounds. Although I would personally find it hilarious for her first word to be “shit” or “ass”, I’m not so sure the rest of the world would agree. It wouldn’t be too good for the little doll and I can almost guarantee minimal (if any) invites back to play dates. I can see it now…
*daydream sequence*…………..
Playgroup Mother, “EXCUSE ME! What did you just say?!??!” Child “This fuc#in truck is broken!” Playgroup Mother, “What?! Where did you learn such language?” (Me; cringing in the corner and slowly - and hopefully, unnoticeably -slouching in my chair…) Child, “SHE (pointing a small, stiff and cheese-puff-stained finger at my daughter) said it first!” Playgroup Mother turns to me and says, “I don’t believe these play dates will be working for us any longer.” Me (sheepishly, yet secretly withholding gut-busting laughter), “I am so sorry! Is there anything I can…” Mother, “NO. Thank you. We’ll be leaving now.” Me “…do?” (looks over at her happy, smiling, potty-mouth daughter with guilty feelings of failure for ruining her play date and any future play dates, for that matter.)
*aaaaand end daydream sequence*
And here the cycle begins again. One day, my daughter will be called out on her bad mouth and do exactly as I am doing now, blame her parents.
Oh my. What’s a mother-effing woman to do?!?!
So I have just spent the last hour sobbing. The kind of sobbing that emits boogers from your nose at lightning speeds. From this sobbing, I have come to a realization. And no, it is not that I need more tissues although, I certainly do. My realization is that IT IS SO DAMN HARD TO TRY AND BE PERFECT.
Amidst the turmoil of living with my in-laws, having a baby in the meantime, surviving my first year of marriage, losing my job, not finding a new one and now moving… I have lost my sense of “self”. My sense of “self” has had to become my sense of “everyone/everything else”. I am so largely consumed by every other aspect of my life that I am burying ME, alive.
In losing myself, I have recognized that I am not doing such a great job of wearing my other hats. I lack the energy, light and awareness that it takes to really rev my engine and be the best that I can be. I spend so much time worrying about how to be perfect for everyone that I continue to let go of who I really am and let her fall deep into the abyss. What I didn’t understand until now is that; A: I will/can never be “perfect” and B: the closest I can get to my version of perfection requires me to be 100%, well, ME.
If this is confusing you… don’t worry, it’s confusing me, as well. Sorry.
The next step I need to take is to figure out how to get “ME” back. I’m not too sure what measures to take just yet. I imagine it starts with putting my health and fitness somewhere at the top of my priority list. If I am not healthy and fit, I feel tired, cranky and miserable. This is more than likely where the downward spiral began. If I look good and feel good, I am unstoppable. I would also like to think that I gain an immeasurable confidence that in turn, would rub off on my daughter - and I want nothing more than for her to grow up loving herself and believing in herself. In my opinion, that is the greatest gift I could give to her away from love.
The very next step beyond that is definitely finding something I can be GREAT at. This may sound a bit ridiculous, but I have no idea what I am great at anymore. I used to play sports, I was great at that. I used to go to school. I was great at that, too. I used to work in sales. Again… great.
I understand that I am a GOOD Mommy, a GOOD wife, a GOOD daughter, but if I can’t find something to personally be GREAT at again, I will not posses the confidence to be great at anything else. I need to be proud of myself for something other than my obligations.
Still following me here?
I would really like to be able to be present in every thing I do, every single day. It is just impossible to do that when my mind is reeling with “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve(s)”. I’ve been obsessing over what I could do better and not really DOING anything about it because the mere idea is so overwhelming.
As you can see, this is going to be quite a long and arduous process, but I really need to start climbing that mountain today. That daunting first step is just always the most difficult, isn’t it?
I didn’t want to put her through surgery. Couldn’t bare the thought. However, the alternative was to not have the surgery done and risk hearing issues, chronic infections and a whole slew of horrors. So, we chose the lesser of two evils.
E had her surgery last Wednesday and let me tell you… I have never been more amazed by a person in my life. We woke her up earlier than usual, denied her of her “breakfast” and dragged her to a doctor’s office filled with screaming children and shockingly bright lighting. She was then taken back into a pre-op room where she was passed around amongst three funny-looking strangers who then took the liberty to poke and prod her while Mommy winced. She remained calm the entire time. In fact, she was smiling and giggling.
When it came time to go back to the OR, she was whisked up and out of my arms by our fabulous nurse (side note: You should take some time to appreciate the hard work and dedication of nurses. Do this because I told you so… oh and because they do the real dirty work and also manage to be the support of patients/families.) and off she went - still, with a smile on her face.
In less than ten minutes (and I am not exaggerating) we were called back to recovery. It was extremely painful to see E crying at the top of her lungs, eyes closed and blood in her ears and on her little hospital gown - BUT - I was able to nurse her right away and within ten minutes, her crying subsided and she was a perfect little snoozer.
When we got home, I was nervous of her reaction once the pain medication wore off and she realized something was different. I was sure she would wake up with the strength of five horses and scream directly at me with a tone that could only say, “How could you do this to me?!?!” This reaction never happened. She was 100% back to her smiley, happy-self as soon as she woke up. We had no issues with her eating, wetting diapers, etc. She was a super star!
Her recovery has been smooth sailing (knock on wood) and so far, she seems to be hearing a bit better as well as sleeping a bit better. I was/am so extremely proud of our little girl. Seven months old and a real tough cookie. Wonder where she gets that from… ;)
*Thank you to my readers who gave me some support regarding this issue. It was so very much appreciated & I will never forget it! My readers rock hard!
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This is hilarious and absolutely what I plan on doing when/if I become pregnant again. I may just add in a little quip about taking it a step further and pouring grape juice in the glass so I actually CAN appear to be consuming “wine”. DEVIOUS!
I wish I would have thought of this the first time around. Fake-sipping champagne just didn’t do it for me… I was caught pregnant-handed faster than you could say, “first trimester”.
I think some women have superhero-like abilities to suss out when someone in their midst is pregnant. When I was pregnant with my first son – and in the “quiet period” when I didn’t want to tell people the news – I went to an outdoor concert with a large group. I declined when I was offered wine. “Oh my God, are you pregnant?” my friend LOUDLY asked me. So, I lied.
“No, I’m taking antibiotics for a yeast infection.”
Just kidding. I didn’t say that. I said it was a UTI. (I will watch my subscriber count drop before my eyes when I post this. Sorry. Tomorrow, to make up for it, I’ll post something cute.)
Anyway, here’s a note that you can use if you want to try to prevent being called out early on in your pregnancy. And, if you’d like to share in the comments, did any of you have friends or family guess you were pregnant before you announced it?
Oh, long, hot showers how happy we used to be.
My legs need a-shavin’, my hair much too greasy.
Long, hot showers, you used to echo my voice.
I’ve had to give you up. I had not a choice.
Long, hot showers, there’s somebody else…
She’s tiny and cute and makes my heart melt.
Oh, long, hot showers, I know it’s not fair.
We’ve spent some great nights together, you’ve done wonders for my hair.
Long, hot showers, I promise I’ll keep you close to my heart.
One day, we will be back together, just as it was at the start.
Long, hot showers, I bid you “adieu”.
But don’t think my heart won’t be longing for you…
What’s that I hear? - a diaper needs to be changed?
I don’t even have time to finish this page.
Until we meet again,
my dear
old
friend…
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