Ok, so I’m not really creepy… but I do worry I come off that way when I am trying to meet other parents.
I’m a young mom (I’m 25) and I look much younger than I actually am (say, 18ish?). People are already confused enough when they see me out in public with my daughter. They tend to look at me, look at the ring finger (which I only have one small band on because my engagement ring still does not fit, which then causes further confusion), look at the baby and then turn away. I assume it’s because they assume that I am a teen mom. Obviously, not the case. Let’s see if I am right. Born in 1985, this is 2011 and not yet my birth month. Yep. Just as I suspected. I’m still 25.
Anyway, I am Mommy-Friendless in my current residence. All of my Mommy-Friends (and some of my very best friends) live 2+ hours away. I see them every month, usually, but I have no steady group to hang out with where I live on an every day basis. This is proving to be quite an issue. I’m lonely, I’m bored, my daughter has no playmates and did I mention that I’m lonely?
I have some really great friends around the area, but really none that are in the same “place” as me. As much as I love those friends - and there is no easy way of putting this - they just don’t get it. How could they? Their lives are not consumed by the same matters as mine anymore. I don’t - I CAN’T - care about some of the things that they still care about (ie: drinking, going out on weekends, traveling, etc.).
Then, there are the weekends that we are invited to friends’ houses for dinner or just to hang out… so nice of them to invite us, but that requires driving 30+ minutes (no friends live closer than that), schleping all of our baby entertainment, making sure there’s a place for E to sleep/nap, and throwing her already-nonexistent-schedule off, well, schedule. Then, when we get there, our focus is on the baby: conversations get interrupted, dinner consists of ten breaks for feeding and changing and we have to leave at a decent time to get back before little miss wants to go to bed. HOLY EXHAUSTION BATMAN!
This all being said… I AM DESPERATE FOR MOMMY-FRIENDS. I try to talk to some parents while dropping off or picking up at the daycare, but again - I get these looks like “Aww how sad, she’s such a young mom - I’ll just say hello and get the hell out of here before she sucks me into a conversation” or “Ok, creeper, stop asking me about my kid because I have no idea who you are and don’t care to get to know you”. So far, I have a zero success rate with this approach.
I try striking up conversation in line at the grocery store or Target (aka: home away from home) but again, I’m met with such awkward looks or abrupt conversation. I can’t tell if it’s because they think I’m the babysitter - so why on Earth would I want to have a conversation about spit up, ear infections or the best highchair toys on the market? -or if they are just so taken aback that a stranger would want to have a conversation these days. Regardless, zero success rate with this, as well.
If I don’t find someone soon that lives close, fully understands my crazy, baby-consumed life, could genuinely care less if I had to whip out a boob and nurse on the spot and is willing to hang out in sweatpants and carry around a diaper bag instead of a purse, I may go crazy. This is worse than what I imagine dating to be like…