Of Mice and (Wo)Men.
I would like to take this opportunity to give some new moms-to-be a little “heads up”. I notice a lot of “tumblees” discussing birth plans and birth experiences on their blogs. I, too, had a birth plan - and you know what they say about “The best laid plans”…
My birth plan went a little something like this: 1) go into labor on or before due date 2) get driven to hospital 3) receive no medication 4) push baby out through my lady parts without an epidural 5) breastfeed as soon as humanly possible.
My daughter’s plan went like this: 1) don’t come out on or before due date. wait to be induced almost two weeks later 2) have labor induced with pitocin 3) have pitocin cause Mommy great pain which necessitates epidural 4) have epidural cause even worse pain and not work 5) have Mommy’s blood pressure drop, Baby’s heart rate drop, making a C-Section necessary 6) have Mommy not get to breastfeed until an hour after delivery 7) don’t latch onto breast for 3 weeks after giving birth.
So there you have it. Nothing went according to plan. Actually, wait. SOMETHING went according to plan… I delivered a beautiful baby girl! As pissed, upset, distraught and shaken I was that nothing (and I mean NOTHING) went the way I had pictured it, I had to remind myself that the point of giving birth was to get the baby out the safest way possible. I struggled so much with the idea that “giving birth” meant pushing my baby out and not cutting my baby out. I didn’t cry during my most horrible of contractions, but I certainly started the waterworks when the doctor told me I needed to have a C-Section. I was beyond upset. I felt defeated and like so much less of a woman and a mother. I was more scared than I had ever been in my life.
After I laid eyes on her and felt the most amazing connection - the strongest possible connection - I realized that regardless of the plans I had made and all of the things that didn’t go according to them, I was looking at my child. I was a mother whether I pushed, pulled, cut, jiggled, wiggled or bounced her out.
So, to all of you moms-to-be who may be reading this (if I should be so lucky) my advice to you would be to have a plan for a basic foundation (always a good idea for every situation), but don’t be let down if it doesn’t work out the way you want it to. Whatever or Whomever you believe in as a higher power has that plan for you for reasons we may never know. It’s ok to request an epidural if you are writhing in pain but reallydidn’t want one. It’s ok to end up having a C-Section when you really wanted to experience vaginal delivery. It’s ok to end up not breastfeeding if you have such a difficult time that it is not enjoyable for you or your child.
It’s ok to let go and give in to the plans that were meant for you and not made by you.
