Speak Mom

Lesser of Two Ear-vils.

I didn’t want to put her through surgery. Couldn’t bare the thought. However, the alternative was to not have the surgery done and risk hearing issues, chronic infections and a whole slew of horrors. So, we chose the lesser of two evils.

E had her surgery last Wednesday and let me tell you… I have never been more amazed by a person in my life. We woke her up earlier than usual, denied her of her “breakfast” and dragged her to a doctor’s office filled with screaming children and shockingly bright lighting. She was then taken back into a pre-op room where she was passed around amongst three funny-looking strangers who then took the liberty to poke and prod her while Mommy winced. She remained calm the entire time. In fact, she was smiling and giggling.

When it came time to go back to the OR, she was whisked up and out of my arms by our fabulous nurse (side note: You should take some time to appreciate the hard work and dedication of nurses. Do this because I told you so… oh and because they do the real dirty work and also manage to be the support of patients/families.) and off she went - still, with a smile on her face.

In less than ten minutes (and I am not exaggerating) we were called back to recovery. It was extremely painful to see E crying at the top of her lungs, eyes closed and blood in her ears and on her little hospital gown - BUT - I was able to nurse her right away and within ten minutes, her crying subsided and she was a perfect little snoozer.

When we got home, I was nervous of her reaction once the pain medication wore off and she realized something was different. I was sure she would wake up with the strength of five horses and scream directly at me with a tone that could only say, “How could you do this to me?!?!” This reaction never happened. She was 100% back to her smiley, happy-self as soon as she woke up. We had no issues with her eating, wetting diapers, etc. She was a super star!

Her recovery has been smooth sailing (knock on wood) and so far, she seems to be hearing a bit better as well as sleeping a bit better. I was/am so extremely proud of our little girl. Seven months old and a real tough cookie. Wonder where she gets that from… ;)

*Thank you to my readers who gave me some support regarding this issue. It was so very much appreciated & I will never forget it! My readers rock hard!

Ears For Fears.

Chronic ear infections + Developmental/Anatomical issue = Baby needs tubes put in.

Welcome to a first-time mom’s hell.

A lot of parents I know have already reassured me (several times) that the surgery is quick, easy and a no-brainer. I get that, I really do. BUT I would be lying if I said the thought of my little girl “going under” and having surgery at 7 months doesn’t scare the ever-livin-shit out of me. 

Obviously, my husband and I have decided to go ahead with the surgery because the benefits -by far- outweigh the risks. There was no question there. Our daughter has been in constant pain and has begun to show signs of minor hearing impairment. Her relief and developmental needs are #1 priority.

It tears me up every time I see her tug at her beautiful little ears. I feel so incredibly helpless and I desperately wish I could take that pain away for her. Unfortunately, I cannot -which- brings us to the surgery…

Something you should know about me… I am extremely paranoid about anesthesia. And I do mean extremely. I had to have ACL repair done a few years ago and I threw up before my surgery because of my fear. I mean stomach-emptying/wretch-ing type of throwing up. No one knows this (feel special you are the first) because I was petrified that if I spoke my fear aloud, it would cause something bad to happen. I know, I know. Psychoanalyze me if you wish, but don’t bother trying to play Freud with me. It would be a waste of time - for you and me, both. 

The doctor said the surgery will only be 10-15 minutes, but I can assure you that those 10-15 minutes will be the longest of my life. Yes, I may be coming off a bit dramatic, but I really can’t stomach the thought of my 7 month old going in for surgery. Yes, it’s a short surgery. Yes, it is an outpatient surgery. Yes, it’s a common surgery. None of these points ease my mind in the least. I will be a wreck that day. I will be frazzled.  I will carry my rosary beads with me like some religious fanatic on their way to having an audience with the Pope. I will clutch my husband’s hand in an alarmingly strong, vice-like grip. 

I can only hope that all of these things plus an ungodly amount of coffee can get me through…